Things that I will never do.
It is human of me to experience these urges.
The times when your stomach wells up some choking need inside your body.
The need to run.
Not run away.
It is not the urge to abandon.
It is the urge to experience.
Something tells you that life is not all you have made it out to be.
Life is not reading blogs.
Life is not studying history.
It is not categorizing books.
Life is something else.
But what is it?
What is it? Find it. Search for it. Look hard. Like you lost your keys. Pursue it. Empty. You end up empty. These romantics urging leave you empty.
Life is not found in thick nostalgia.
Life is not found in the urgings of your gut.
That is where bile is found. That is the truth of the flesh. Pursue the world. Chase after the fleeting. Long for the empty dreams.
"You have helped me rekindle the joy of my salvation."
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