Tuesday, May 26, 2009

The Magic Want Your Firstborn

Disclaimer: If the Cavs come back and win the series, this should be ignored forever and never brought up in casual conversation. Also, I am not a Magic fan. 

The Orlando Magic are up 3-1 in the Eastern Conference Finals against the Lebron James One-Man Show aka the Cleveland Cavaliers. The Magic are the team that everyone ever has written off since the beginning of the year. Why? Well, I'm glad you asked.

-Rashard Lewis is NOT that good and the Magic overpaid for his services.
-Dwight Howard does NOT have the killer instinct and will NOT come through in the clutch.
-Jameer Nelson is OUT for the year; Rafer Alston is NOT good enough to replace him.
-Stan Van Gundy is NOT a good coach and will panic and set his team on fire if they get too close to winning a meaningful game.

Well...
-Rashard Lewis made the winning shot in Game 1 and the go-ahead shot at the end of regulation in Game 4 to help the Magic win two games. Lewis also sealed Game 4 with three semi-clutch free throws in OT.
-Dwight Howard has completely dominated the Cavs in the paint all series. Howard also put up the first 6 points up with emphatic dunks and was two-for-two from the line in the Game 4 overtime. 
-Rafer Alston, aka Skip To My Lou, has almost lead a team he has been on for 2 months to the NBA Finals (26 points, 6 threes in Game 4).
-SVG is still the coach and has the Magic up 3-1 (the one loss on a ridiculous shot by the MVP with 1.0 left on the clock). 

So the Orlando Magic just want all the geniuses on ESPN to know that they can go f*** themselves.

Monday, May 18, 2009

Don't Quiver Under Your Afghan Any Longer



This is, without a doubt, the greatest SNL commercial ever. 

Friday, May 1, 2009

Ugh

Do I have to keep making my case for smaller government when these things keep happening?


Seriously? Is this necessary? What kind of jackasses do we have in office?