Daytime Television

TV is such a huge waste of time. I'm losing my day to Grey's Anatomy and Oprah. I am a middle-aged woman. I have a van and drive my kids to soccer practice. Do we have any flour? I need to get dinner on the table.

I came to realization this week that I would not mind moving out of Gainesville. I like it here. It's nice. But it changes every year. I might be trying to hold on to something that doesn't really exist anymore. I have some great friends here. They would be why I stay. At the same time, those friends are changing. Everything is changing too fast for my liking.

Passion tea. It comes in a purple bag. It is red like Kool-Aid. Megan brings it home from work. I need a tea to remind me about passion.

About the Blog

Last night, I thought about my post after I put it up. Sometimes, I am immediately regretful of what I do. Rarely do I publicly admit these regrets. But what is wrong with me posting what I was thinking at the time? It was my best attempt at being honest. 

Well, I'm watching "The Dark Knight." Good movie. My back hurts from laying down. I should go to bed.

Late Night Ramblin' Gamblin' Man

I get the urge to do lots of things. 

Things that I will never do. 

It is human of me to experience these urges. 

The times when your stomach wells up some choking need inside your body. 

The need to run. 

Not run away. 

It is not the urge to abandon. 

It is the urge to experience. 

Something tells you that life is not all you have made it out to be. 

Life is not reading blogs. 

Life is not studying history. 

It is not categorizing books. 

Life is something else. 

But what is it? 

What is it? Find it. Search for it. Look hard. Like you lost your keys. Pursue it. Empty. You end up empty. These romantics urging leave you empty. 

Life is not found in thick nostalgia. 

Life is not found in the urgings of your gut. 

That is where bile is found. That is the truth of the flesh. Pursue the world.  Chase after the fleeting. Long for the empty dreams. 

"You have helped me rekindle the joy of my salvation." 

Copycat

I was not married the last time I wrote anything. In my break from blogging, I have realized that I am not as into this scene as I originally wanted to be. It is kind of sad. But whatever. So I'm not saying goodbye forever but probably a good long while.